Friday, October 9, 2009

An Open Letter to Barack Obama, From the Rest of the World.

Dear Mr. President,

We're sorry for dissing your hometown over the Olympics. Here, have a Nobel Peace Prize.

ps - We hate Bush.


Seriously, you all know I voted for the man, but let's think about this for a minute. He hasn't rescinded the illegal wiretapping or any of the laws violating the Constitution that Bush awarded himself, he hasn't closed Guantanamo like he said he would, he hasn't pulled out of Iraq like he said he would, he's trying to escalate the war in Afghanistan, which is going to be ultimately pointless, and he's trying to keep any more photos of U.S. troops torturing detainees at Abu Ghraib from being released. And they gave him the Nobel Peace Prize? Won't they feel silly when he goes on a 15 state killing spree in his lame duck year.

Or maybe I'm not looking at this from a global perspective. His presidency throws into stark relief the sheer ghastliness of the Bush years. Perhaps this has united the rest of the world like nothing else ever has, thus promoting global peace. There. I knew I'd figure it out eventually.